International Bereaved Mothers Day

While I was holidaying in Australia, I forgot my fellow bereaved mums. I came back to read many posts of bereaved mums who are hurting on Mothers' day. 

 I repeat this post I did last year on  International Bereaved Mothers Day was created by us in 2010 and it now falls on the first Sunday of every May.

To many of you, this is news. To many of you, I hope you never have to celebrate this. To a small unfortunate group, this is reality.


A swan plant provides nourishment to caterpillars of Monarch butterflies.  Not all caterpillars grow like Eric Carle's Hungry caterpillar and grow up to become butterflies. Some of them die, and they drop to the ground. This is a sad fact of life. At Pt Chevalier School, we have big bushes of swan plants. My students learn about life and death. I told my students about my baby who died. They often ask if I am sad. Today, I read someone saying, our deceased babies will never leave our hearts. Our hearts need to grow bigger and bigger so we can be like the swan plant, and provide more nourishment for more  caterpillars.


It was only after 17 years after I was bereaved that in 2007, at Mt Albert Baptist Church on Mothers' Day that a prayer was said for those who have lost their mums and also for those mums who have lost their children. 
On the second Sunday in May, when everyone is celebrating Mother's day, they forget there is a group of women who couldn't. Because for many of them, they should have been Mothers, but they couldn't. Even I have other surviving children, My heart remembers Andrew. 

It is good that some bereaved mothers themselves have chosen the first Sunday of May to celebrate this day. I dedicate this day to all my blogger friends who are bereaved mothers, and facebooks friends, and friends where ever you are. To the Sands mums. Others might not remember but, we stand in sisterhood, because we belong to this special club. To the newest member, C who is not even one week old as a member.  In Chinese, a child's birthday is called SHOU NAN RE, a day of great suffering. This is a super duper SHOU NAN RE.

This May 13 will be hard for you. I pray for you.

International Bereaved Mothers Day was created by us in 2010 and it now falls on the first Sunday of every May. This year’s day is on Sunday May 6th 2012.

This special day was created to honour and celebrate mothers who carry some if not all of their children in their hearts rather than their arms.  In our modern day society, mothers who are grieving the death of their babies and children are usually forgotten. The traditional Mothers Day has proven to be an emotionally difficult day for so many mothers around the world.

On this day each year we come together to celebrate our connection, our babies and children and our hope for the future. We look at their ultrasound photos, polish their urns, lay flowers at their graves, visit special places and light candles in their memory.

Sunday May 6th 2012, get together with your closest friends and family who understand and celebrate you. Celebrate your children.http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2012/02/international-bereaved-mothers-day.html

Documentary: It's OK to cry which featured a group of bereaved mums and an interview of me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZk9w-uywAs&feature=youtu.be

Happy Mothers' day

I have never seen these burgundy red sun flowers. They were grown in a private garden in Sandringham.

On this day,
While most people celebrate Mothers' Day,
Many are not aware,
There is a group of mothers who had lost their children,
Some never got to hold them.
These bereavement could be recent,
They could be ancient history.
It's the same,
In their heart,
There is a void.
Mothers' Day can be a bittersweet.

These red sunflowers look like they were stained with blood,
Blood from a broken heart.
This is how a bereaved mother's heart is like,
Sometimes.

Flowers to Mother's grave.

we took these flowers to Mother's grave. I saw the lilies, and thought of Father's funeral. We were given stalks of flowers, and I was given a stalk with lilies. I stood holding the lily and thought of Andrew's funeral. I gasped the stalk unable to throw the lily into Father's grave.

An aunty whispered to me, throw the flower, give it to your Dad. My hand was immobolized. Eventually I threw it in because the extended family and friends had to wait for me.

Marathon

波士顿马拉松爆炸

This is my certificate. I left my medal in school. The kids love wearing it.

My new pair of running shoes are still very new because I don't run anymore.



 The Oval, running track at NTU, where I first trained.

Few years ago, I was this middle aged turning 50 year old woman. One day, I challenged myself in a 3.8k after not running since my early 20s when I ran the "Round the bays.".

The university announced its "President's run." I had been doing short runs in the Staff Club gym, and was interested. D was with me and challenged me to run two kilometers. After I had done that, she said, "Mum, you can do it."

I got two girl friends to train, 6 am in the morning, we were at the oval, from 400 meters, and adding on, we completed the race as we pounded the pavement of the university route. We even beat many men and university girls much much younger than us.

After that, me and another girl friend 44, we trained for the Singapore Marathon.10 K's marathon.

It was in humid Singapore, but we did it in 3 months. We were two university wives, and the young uni kids were wondering why these two "Aunties " were doing in their turf at the running oval and in the hilly campus. We managed to complete 10 Ks ten times. The first time were so satisfying. We High 5 and hugged.

Came early Dec, we woke up at 4am we ran with the Marathon greats from Kenya and Ethiopia. We both did it. The water engineer and the kids were there to support me. The Australian runners told me that the Singapore run was the most difficult to do because it was humid and hot.

It was the best thing I have done, and am still very proud of it.

Yesterday, I shared with my adult students, I knew how hard it was to train for the Marathon, even though I trained for the 10 kilometers only. I would be very angry if I was one of the runners in Boston, to be denied of crossing the finishing line.

Explosions at Boston Marathon.

Two Explosions At Boston Marathon

US Correspondent Jack Tame with details on the explosions at the Boston Marathon.

I woke up and my husband told me of the bombing. So sad, people using sports for their political ends. I remember I ran the Singapore Marathon in 2005. At the end of the run, I just just so tired that I wanted to lie down.

My sympathies of the mums of the two who had died. Sorry you are forced to join my club. Club of the bereaved parents.

AFP © Enlarge photo

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AFP) - At least two people were killed and 23 wounded when two explosions struck near the finish line of the Boston Marathon on Monday, sparking scenes of panic, police said.
The streets were littered with debris and blood and paramedics raced off with stretchers as police locked down the area, witness said. TV footage showed an explosion sending up a white plume of smoke along the sidelines of the race.
Boston police confirmed the toll of dead and wounded on its Twitter feed.
Local radio said the first explosion took place near a sports store and the second went off near a viewing stand. It was not immediately clear whether the explosions were accidental or the result of a terrorist attack.
"There were two bombs that exploded near the finish line in today's Boston Marathon," race organizers said on the event's Facebook page, without providing a source for the information.

It's ok to cry

To the mums of the Boston Marathon victims.
I like to tell them, It is OK to cry.
As a bereaved mother myself,
I cry with you.
I lament the senseless killing.
Cry, don't hold back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZk9w-uywAs&feature=youtu.be this youtube was a TV documentary on a group of bereaved mums. Titled It's ok to cry.

Mum's the best. by Emily Chan

I am a very proud aunty. This is Emily Chan, my brother Charles and sis-in-law Karen's baby daughter. Yes, no matter whether you are 23 , or you are 2, you are always your parents' baby, especially if you are the youngest child in the family.

Emily plays the guitar, piano and sings. She writes all her own songs and had recorded her music. Her music style is alternative/indie rock. Here she sings this aged old Chinese song for her Dad this father's day. She performed in Canada.
Download Emily Chan - Mum's The Best .

This is Emily's song: Mum's the best. Click on the link to listen to her lovely voice.

When I was little, my mom used to sing it to us, we tried to sing, but because e didn't know the lyrics and enough Chinese, we couldn't really sing it well. I was privileged that Emily asked me to teach her the song as a tribute to her Dad, my brother.

Almost twenty three years ago, on a Saturday morning, I was singing in this song,
I was "without a mom you are like a stalk of weed", I really needed my mum.
I needed my mum because my new born baby was dying, and I wanted my mum, but my mum had died eighteen months earlier.

It was Easter when I did the post of Mum and her chicks, I stuck these two chicks on my monitor. They remind me of Mum.

http://annkitsuet-chinchan.blogspot.co.nz/2013/04/mum-and-her-chicks.html

Mum's the best by Emily Chan
Shi shang zhi you ma ma hao
you ma de hai zi xiang ge bao.
tou jin ma ma de huai bao
xin fu xiang bu liao

世上只有妈妈好
有妈的孩子像个宝
投进了妈妈的怀抱
幸福享不了

Mommy's the only dearest in the world
Those with mums are like treasures
Run to mum's bosom
you will be so happy

shi shang zhi you ma ma hao
Mei ma de hai zi xiang ge cao
li kai ma ma de huai bao
xin fu na li zhao.
世上只有妈妈好
没妈的孩子像根草
离开妈妈的怀抱
幸福哪里找

Mommy's the only dearest in the world
without a mom you are like a stalk of weed
away from mom's bosom,
where will you find happiness?

Shi shang zhi you ma ma hao
you ma de hai zi bu zhi dou.
Yaw shi ta men zhi dou
mon li yie hui siao.

世上只有媽媽好
有媽的孩子不知道
要是他知道
夢裡也會笑

Mommy's the only dearest in the world
Those with mums don't know
If only they know,
They will smile even in their dreams

Mei yu mama zui ku now
Motherless kids have most worries.

I posting this early for Mother's day. I will be traveling  to visit Emily and the rest of the Chans in Australia.

http://mondaymellowyellows.blogspot.com.au/

  
Stay mellow with yellow!