Friday, August 25, 2017

Midwives and baptism

I know that not everyone will agree, and some may not have had great experiences with midwives or medical personnel. ..but as a midwife, I have shed many more tears than I ever thought a midwife would doing this job

When it was decided that the doctors would not treat Andrew, the nurses removed all the tubes attached to Andrew's little body. They were getting ready for Andrew's baptism or dedication. I am sure it was not an easy job for them. They were comforting me at the same time.

Today, I learn another baby with Andrew's syndrome had died, and I had to invite the parents to join the Angels of Campomelic Displasia. 

Friday, August 4, 2017

Taiwanese Cherry Blossom

Prunus campanulata is a species of cherry native to Taiwan, widely grown as an ornamental tree, and a symbol of Nago, Okinawa in the Ryukyu Islands of Japan. It is variously known in English as the Taiwan cherry,[3] Formosan cherry, or bellflower cherry.

I used to mistake this for the Sakura cherry tree. They lined on both sides of Balmoral road where I used to live before Andrew was born, and later when we came back to live after 16 years in Singapore.

In 1989, the word Campomelic came to my vocabulary. It was the syndrome that Andrew had and killed him. Campanulata makes me think of that word. The Campanulata cherry  blooms ahead of the Sakura, then very quickly the flowers drop and fade away. 

This is the time when the Campanulata cherry  blooms are most pretty. At the time, at Andrew's birthday,  Balmoral road would be one scarlet hue. Then on his death anniversary in November, the trees would be bare. Empty like my arms.

Next month would be Andrew's birthday, This TVNZ documentary was made for 

 Baby Loss Awareness Week. I remember the interview I 

did  for the Television documentary," It is ok to cry." Here I am, telling myself it is 

OK to cry.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

'Please let our girl come home'

This issue was top news of our National TV. We sad, but I can't understand what it happening, Just very sad.

let the parents take Charlie home to die.

 I don't understand the hospital why they decline to let the parents take Charlie home to die.

 I myself experienced a similar scenario. We were told Andrew would die the evening he was born. We stayed at NICU because I couldn't handle it. Andrew did not die, towards the last ten days, he was having apnea, and the first time, we all thought he had died. Through out his 55 days, the hospital had asked if we wanted to bring him home for a short stay. They would provide oxygen. I did not do it. The hospital was very respectful of our feelings.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

170 babies' graves have been damaged

Flowers and small adornments on about 170 babies' graves have been damaged by maintenance contractors at a South Auckland cemetery.

A grave is a place of remembrance, It is more intense when the grave belong to babies. I know, I buried a baby

Friday, February 17, 2017

Chinese quake parents want lifelong visas to visit their children's graves

There is a Chinese saying, the worst tragedy is for a grey hair person to bury a black hair person. I started my Diary of a bereaved mum with this.

Six years ago, 23 Chinese students were killed in the CTV during the Christchurch earthquake. The heart ache lingers.

Chinese parents who lost their only child in the February 2011 earthquake are pleading with our government to grant them lifelong visas so they can visit their children's graves.
They want the right to enter New Zealand every year to tidy their children's graves as per the Chinese tomb-sweeping tradition where mourners clean gravesites and burn incense to bless the dead.
Their request has been declined because New Zealand's immigration policy does not allow for long-lasting visitor visas.
READ FULL INVESTIGATION: The parents who are afraid to cry together
Nearly half of the 185 victims of the Christchurch earthquake died in a language school on the fourth floor of the collapsed CTV building, including 23 Chinese students.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

my rainbow child.

My Rainbow child

The weather is hotting up, my rainbow  child is back at the beach, getting very tan.

I learn for the first time the term Rainbow babies from a fellow bereaved mum, Caterine from Australia.

Rainbow babies are conceived after the lost of a baby.

"Rainbow Babies" are the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow

appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and the clouds. Storm clouds may still loom over but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and much needed hope.

Many mums for various reasons choose not tohave rainbow babies, and many well meaning people tell them, " You will be alright, you can soon have another."

For me, my rainbow baby came 7 years after Andrew died. I had not planned for him. I went through hell during my pregancy because I was worried I would have a repeat of Andrew.