Thinking of you Megan.

Today, I printed my third edition of my book. My friend Megan has read it and may she be comforted as it is the EDD of her twins, Peanut and Poppet. How I wish as Megan said we could have a special vehicle to go up to heaven and bring them down to us. Megan is also missing her other sons Theo and Christopher and two others whom I forgot their names. Kisses and hugs to you, Megan.

Megan, I share with you the EDD of Andrew. 20^th October 1989. Today would have been Andrew’s due date. But he jumped the gun and came 3 weeks early. An irrational me looked at Andrew, and asked him, “Why did you come earlier than when you were supposed to? If you came today, you would be a normal baby.” I was consumed with sadness; I didn’t offer to hold Andrew at his feeding time.

The duty nurse asked if I wasn’t feeling so good this morning. I told her, and started to cry. She gave me a hug. She told the other duty nurses, and they gave me extra TLC. With their loving care, my feeling of despondent slowly subsided. Realistically, Andrew had arrived, and he was Campomelic regardless of when he came. Nothing could change that.

Spring flowers for you, it is surreal, spring flowers in the middle of winter. But that's our lot, as bereaved mums, nothing is real any more.