Saturday, May 30, 2015

You tube: It's ok to cry

When I wrote my book, Diary of a berreaved mother, it was to help new 

bereaved mothers and to help myself. Television New Zealand asked me 

if I wanted to help them do a documentary. It was to help other 

bereaved mothers.

It was very hard to do the documentary.

Today is the first birthday of a bereaved mum after her baby had died. 

This blog is for you.

The TV Program is available in New Zealand only.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Remembering Patrick and hugs to his mum Louise.

I posted this in 2012, that's how long ago I met Louise Martin. She is a very special friend. Both of us have lost our boys. Yesterday was the anniversary of her Patrick's death.

When fellow bereaved Mum Louise read my Sands mums running she told me that in 2 days, it will her her Patrick's anniversary, and she wasn't looking forward to it. It decided to write this blog for my flower meme.

This can be a story of the life cycle of the butterfly. But this is beyond this. In two days time, Patrick Martin would have been celebrating his 10th birthday in Heaven. He should probably be playing in Junior rugby or rugby league. His mum Louise should be busy preparing for his real birthday party. But there is none of these going to happen. Louise's heart is heavy and she knows she is dreading the day.

I wasn't here when this happened. It was a stroke of unusual circumstance that Louise and I became friends. We were at a workshop and she invited me to sit beside her. I introduced myself as a bereaved mum, and Louise touched my arm. She whispered, I am too. It was as if that touch and soft words were magical. We became friends.

On Friday, I was sitting outside the clump of swan plants teaching some students. A Monarch butterfly landed on my shoulder. I taught my kids with this song Butterfly, my butterfly, wait for me don't fly away, I told the students, it is natural for the butterflies to fly away when they are ready.

But in the case of Patrick, it was far from being natural. I looked up the archives, It was a very tragic case. 

Monday, May 18, 2015


Police investigating damage to gravestones at an Auckland cemetery say a man was seen on CCTV tampering with "numerous memorials" on Saturday night.
Inspector Mark Rowbottom said the man spent around three hours in the Papakura cemetery in south Auckland about 8.30pm.
"We believe that there is a lone person responsible for the damage, and he is seen on CCTV exhibiting some strange behaviour. At various times through the night, cars have driven past the man and he has made no attempt to hide from vehicle headlights."

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Volunteers Services Abroad and my daughter Gabrielle.

This is from my second daughter, as most of you live overseas, I am posting this for you to be aware of VSA, Volunteers Services Abroad. It is similar to the Peace corp that we were exposed to from USA.
What shall I say about my daughter Gabrielle? Even when she was in primary school, she was very aware of social issues. She volunteered in the Singapore Zoo.The first time she went, they gave her the worst job. Yet she persisted in going.

How should I feel when my daughter gives up a very cushy lawyer's job to become a volunteer in a remote pacific island? I trained her to have social consciousnesses. She had been to and helped me with my charity work. Now I just have to give my blessing and pray nothing bad will happen.

As a mum, am I happy for her to go.  That's her calling, and I am proud of her.

I'm heading to the Solomons in July for 12-18 months with Volunteer Service Abroad (VSA).
To raise funds and awareness of VSA's work, I'm putting on a mid-week autumnal feast and would love for you to get some friends together to come along to a night of delicious food and drink, music and quality company.
The lush menu will be brought to you by my extremely talented friends: Meg Abbott-Walker (vino), Petra Galler (dinner) and Takumi Robert-Woodward (dessert).
$85 a ticket includes a 3 course meal and wine and is limited to 60 seats.
Please email me at to RSVP and let me know any dietary requirements (dinner is veggo-friendly).
If you can't make it along on the night I would appreciate any contribution! My fundraising page is at:

A Fundraising Feast
Wednesday, June 3 at 7:30pm
Alleluya Bar & Cafe in Auckland, New Zealand

Nepal Earthquake 2015: Helping Hands

 Pasang and Prinka

Prinka is actively involved with the "Helping hands" for the aftermath of the Nepalese Earthquake.

They are trying to help remote affected places through "Helping Hands". The youths from Prinka's home, Pokhara. Prinka's sister and medical teams are involved. Her home village is affected with cracks in the houses but they have no where to go.

Prinka was in Mt Albert Baptist Church to man the donation buckets. Pasang came after working in the barista machine.

The funds will be used to buy medicine, tents and food. Tonight (Sunday evening) there will be a candle night at Aotea Square.