Sunday, October 30, 2011

Diary of a bereaved mother

School reopened last week and I showed some of my students the TV Clip of my interview for the Baby Loss Awareness Week. They said they felt very sad and asked if I was still sad.

We can never get over our loss. One of the blogging things is I had some very good blogging friends. YTSL went on holiday to Japan and her post on "broken" touched my heart.

"This bodhisattva is particularly revered among East Asian Buddhists -- and beloved in Japan, where he is popularly venerated as the guardian of unborn, aborted, miscarried or stillborn infants.

Put another way: every figurine in the photo represents people's unborn, aborted, miscarried or stillborn babies. Looking at them, it's not just their numbers that can overwhelm. For often placed amidst the cold stone or cement statuettes are stuffed toys, tiny shoes and other items associated with babyhood."

I think this is a great idea. It is something symbolic for Mums and dads to do.

On the other hand, I just read last week that some insensitive people have messed up other children's grave and to the extent of stealing their toys. How callous is that?

In this little grave lies a loved child at Okahu Bay. The parents must have chosen this to represent themselves. It is heart breaking
Vote for my story, you can vote once a day. Voting finishes on November 15th. Thanks.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Readers'Digest Entry

When I was young, I always read the Readers' Digest and marvel at the bravery of the mothers who struggled with sick children. When I had Andrew in the hospital, and accepted the doctors' advice that the kindest option was to let nature take it's course. When Andrew didn't die when the doctor predicted, I struggled with myself and spoke to the doctor about those mothers I read in the Readers' Digest, and I wanted to be these mothers, Dr James said that Andrew was different.

Today, I found out that Readers' Digest was inviting people to submit their stories. I am submitting mine for media exposure. But if you like to vote for me, it is appreciated.

"Diary of a bereaved mother"
My journey of having a baby who died and now I am the self appointed spokes-person for bereaved parents. My story is from my heart and will resonate with anyone who has had the misfortune to give birth to a child who has struggled to live. Synopsis: Your baby is dying. Andrew did not die that night as predicted by the doctor, he didn't die after 3 days, 10 days and finally he died at 55 days. Friends did not know whether to congratulate or commiserate us. He was declared dead after his first at 40 days, but he bounced back. That was more excruciating than his actual death. After Andrew, what have I done? Have I become a better person? There are many of the things I am most proud of. I spearheaded raising funds to separate a pair of Siamese twins from Nepal in Singapore. For 16 years, I raised funds for the Deaf Children in Kenya. I did the publicity, marketing, cooking and selling. I volunteer at teaching new immigrants.

Vote up!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Sands New Zealand: Stillbirth and Newborn Death Support

I wear these two Sands bands all the time and talk about Andrew when people ask why I am wearing them.

Welcome to Sands New Zealand. We are a voluntary, parent-run, non-profit organisation set up to support parents and families who have experienced the death of a baby.

Most of our members/supporters are also bereaved parents. While we do not know exactly how you are feeling, we have been in similar circumstances. We offer empathy and understanding. We are not counsellors and do not give formal advice but we do offer an opportunity and environment to share experiences, to talk and to listen. We promote awareness, understanding and support for those dealing with the death of a baby in pregnancy, birth or as a newborn, and due to medical termination or other forms of reproductive loss.

The TV Program was available in New Zealand only.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Baby Loss Awareness Week: 9-15 Oct 2011

When I see the millions of spring flowers on my tree, yet only a few develop into fruits. I see a parallel of many babies who don't survive and have a full life. I think of the bereaved parents whose hearts are hurting this week, their branches once laden with beautiful flowers of promise. But now are empty and barren branches. Ann Chin.

9th Oct-15th Oct.
October 9th, 11am. Sunday TVNZ 1

If you are in New Zealand, you can watch the program online. Click on chapter 3. Watch Sands Manukau mums and a segment of my interview, "Diary of a bereaved mother."