Thursday, June 26, 2014

amazing diary




Amazing, amazing 75 years of writing a diary. The kids in school are doing war, and some of them do The Diary of Anne Frank. On our TV, a 90 something Pat has written her diary for 75 years. WOW!!!!!

I used to keep copies of all the letters I wrote and received for over 35 years. I had boxes and boxes. They went with me from NZ to Singapore. Unfortunately the husband wanted to do a spring clean
when I was overseas. I allowed him to throw them out but insisted he kept my correspondence I had with Andrew. These notes I penned into my first book The diary of a bereaved mother.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Fundraising for Lisa

My friend's brave daughter Lisa has chronic kidney disease. They are raising funds by selling loom bands for her to go to California.

Loom bands are very popular with both boys and girls.
Lisa's fundraising page!!!
This is where you will see all that is up and coming in our fundraising efforts for her amazing trip with Koru Care Nz to California!!


11yr old Lisa lives with chronic kidney disease and will need a transplant sometime within the next few years. Help her forget that for just a while
Photo: ***** Loom BAND ITEMS FOR SALE *****
Yes, they're all the current rage with our young girls - Lisa included! lol
However her ability at creating them at the moment is very limited.
So.... the lovely Michelle Ozanne is donating her time and efforts and we will be offering a variety of loom band bracelets and keyrings for sale for the duration of our fundraising efforts.
As soon as they come in they will be photographed and listed for sale into an album on this page.

Prices: ALL loom band items will be a flat $5.00 each and if postage is required, there will be no extra cost.

Payment for them will be into the dedicated fundraising account:
Bank: ANZ
Name: Louise Martin 
Branch: Henderson 
06-0996-0252135-01

This account has been set up as a VISA DEBIT account so ALL FUNDS deposited into it will be paid into the givealittle account. Then EVERYONE can see the rising tally collected with your help. <3

LOOM BAND ITEMS COMING VERY SOON!!!! Some have already been made, I just need to pick them up. :D
Watch this space. :)


Photo: Some more creations. :) Thanks to Michelle for the "piggy bank" keyring....so cute! Zoe, here's the cat.. :) Remember everyone, $3 each for a good cause!
In the book, there is a fund raising activities so some youth can go to Manila.


http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com/




http://rubytuesday2.blogspot.co.nz

Saturday, June 21, 2014

my two sands bands

I wear two SANDS (Still Born and neonatal) Bands on my right hand. People ask me why I wear 2 bands.

My reply, the very reason you are asking. It attracts attention for people to ask. It's like wearing an invitation, "Come on, ask."

My baby son Andrew died 24 years ago. Since I published my book in 2003, I got involved with SANDS.

I tell them it is OK to cry.



Photo: I thought I lost one of my bereavement bands. Went to look for something else in my husband's car and found it. I am wearing 2 again. People ask me why I wear 2 bands, My reply, the very reason u are asking.

a very touching phemonenon.

I wear two SANDS (Still Born and neonatal) Bands on my right hand. People ask me why I wear 2 bands.

My reply, the very reason you are asking. It attracts attention for people to ask. It's like wearing an invitation, "Come on, ask."

My baby son Andrew died 24 years ago. Since I published my book in 2003, I got involved with SANDS.

I tell them it is OK to cry.

Today is the birthday of my late sis-in-law, Karen. It is her first birthday in Heaven.  I remember this photo was taken when I went to Australia to attend her funeral. 

Photo: I thought I lost one of my bereavement bands. Went to look for something else in my husband's car and found it. I am wearing 2 again. People ask me why I wear 2 bands, My reply, the very reason u are asking.
She used to tell me bereavement is liken to a cracked mirror, even when it is fixed it will never be the same again. 

But today, she is looking over me and sent me this telling me, the bowl can be beautiful despite the cracks.

Kintsugi (金継ぎ?) (Japanese: golden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い?) (Japanese: golden repair) is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy it’s about breakage and repair becoming part of the story of an object, rather than being something you need to disguise. (Wikipedia)

In mid-1500 Japan for that a bowl that was much admired and cherished by a military leader was accidentally broken by a servant. Everyone feared what might happen but the leader had the 5 broken pieces put together again. Instead of the break "…diminishing the bowl's appeal, a new sense of its vitality and resilience raised appreciation to even greater heights." The bowl had become more beautiful for having been broken. The true life of the bowl "…began the moment it was dropped…" (From The Aesthetics of Mended Japanese Ceramics Exhibition handbook)

In Japan, cracks in precious bowls are often filled with gold. Today, still, many Japanese believe when something has been damaged and has a history, it is even more beautiful. Repaired bowls can be been treasured by many generations.

Can this teach us anything about the healing and 'repairing' of grief?

.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Kintsugi (金継ぎ?) (Japanese: golden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い?)




Many kinds of loss can leave a person feeling broken. Here's a fresh and helpful perspective on that concept:



Kintsugi (金継ぎ?) (Japanese: golden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い?) (Japanese: golden repair) is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy it’s about breakage and repair becoming part of the story of an object, rather than being something you need to disguise. (Wikipedia)

In mid-1500 Japan for that a bowl that was much admired and cherished by a military leader was accidentally broken by a servant. Everyone feared what might happen but the leader had the 5 broken pieces put together again. Instead of the break "…diminishing the bowl's appeal, a new sense of its vitality and resilience raised appreciation to even greater heights." The bowl had become more beautiful for having been broken. The true life of the bowl "…began the moment it was dropped…" (From The Aesthetics of Mended Japanese Ceramics Exhibition handbook)

In Japan, cracks in precious bowls are often filled with gold. Today, still, many Japanese believe when something has been damaged and has a history, it is even more beautiful. Repaired bowls can be been treasured by many generations.

Can this teach us anything about the healing and 'repairing' of grief?
 amazing how timely this came. First time I think of this way. You guys have become more beautiful. God works in amazing ways.



I have never thought of this way, someone told me once crack, will always be cracked. This kintsukuroi has given me new insight. Thanks.
Dear administrator, I am not into ( I am loss for words.) Your post is amazing. I mentioned someone who told me that a mirror once cracked will never be the same, same as bereavement. I had held this notion for 24 years. That person died a year ago, and today is her birthday, as I discussed with her daughter, it seems it was her in heaven telling me that Kintsukuroi (金繕 tells me through Andrew's death, I have become a more beautiful and loving person. Am I saying it right? 

This had given me a totally new prospective. Someone once told me, a bowl once broken will always be cracked. Kintsukuroi (金繕 gives me a different thing to think about.



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

ABC letter W for wool


 from sheep you get wool
 and do some knitting. This doll is more than 24 years old. When my late son was in ICU, some kind ladies knitted a whole lot of dolls. My oldest child kept hers and it traveled all over the world with her.
 these are not real wool, my talented friend made cake decoration.

http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.co.nz/


Friday, June 13, 2014

New Zealand Loss and Grief Awareness Week: July 28 - August 3, 2014

http://www.grief.org.nz/

words of bereaved parents


Recently, I met a new bereaved mother whose child had the same syndrome as my Andrew, and lived about the same duration. Then I thought of all the other bereaved parents and wrote this poem.

Lamentation of bereaved parents.

"We put on a big brave face
We go about to work
We do our things daily,
We do bit in the community,
When asked, we lie we are fine.

But deep under,
We are heartbroken.
I saw this broken cherub,
near my mother's grave,
It wasn't at someone's grave stone.
Photo: Recently, I met a new bereaved mother whose child had the same syndrome as my Andrew, and lived about the same duration. Then I thought of all the other bereaved parents and wrote this poem.

Lamentation of bereaved parents.

"We put on a big brave face
We go about to work 
We do our things daily,
We do bit in the community,
When asked, we lie we are fine.

But deep under,
We are heartbroken.
I saw this broken cherub,
near my mother's grave,
It wasn't any someone's grave stone.."

Sunday, June 1, 2014

For whom does the bell the bell toll?


For whom does the bell toll? 

For whom does the bell toll?


I wrote this post couple of years ago.

I went back to this little cemetary and took a photo of the bell.


The bell is tolling for a little baby who was born on Valentine's day.

The bell is tolling for his mother who had him snatched away from her arms.
The bell is tolling for his aunty who shared this sad news.


The bell is tolling for a little boy who had been afflicted from

a fatal disease from the day he was born.
The bell is tolling for his mum and dad, his grandma and grand dad who had been by his side for five years.
The bell continues to toll, but it seems not right, when it is for little angels.
***I belong to the Campomelic families, where I get sad news about Campomelic children, and the grandma of the 5 year old boy is my very good friend.****

For whom does the bell toll?  2009


Rebecca at Girlfriend magazine NZ





 Always grateful to the first newspaper write-up by Rebecca Blithe. Rebecca gave me my first break. She contacted me and wrote this wonderful piece. From there, I was interviewed on national TV on Channel one on a documentary, my book was exhibited in England, and I had that dream of launching my 3 books, and meeting media.

Rebecca is now the editor at Girlfriend magazine NZ



  .

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/aucklander/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503372&objectid=11030495

The New Zealand Herald is a daily newspaper published in Auckland, New Zealand, owned by APN News & Media. It has the largest newspaper circulation of any in the country, peaking at over 200,000 copies in 2006, although numbers had declined to 162,181 by December 2012.[1] Its main circulation area is the Auckland region. It is also delivered to much of the north of the North Island including Northland, Waikato and King Country.[

Words of healing

 
A mother's account of the death of her newborn son has been turned into a book in the hope it will help other mothers heal. Rebecca Blithe meets the author. "The specialist said, 'You're going to have a normal baby'," says Ann Chin, as she sits with a pile of her recently published book, Diary of a Bereaved Mother.
But the days that followed the birth of her son, Andrew, proved anything but normal.
"Once I had my baby they realised he was dying," she says, of his diagnosis of Campomelic syndrome; a bone and cartilage condition resulting in short limbs and breathing problems because of a small chest capacity.
"They knew because of the scans, but they didn't investigate because it was a rare thing," she says, of the abnormalities. "When the baby was born, they resuscitated him. He was going to die that night. He survived for 55 days.
"One afternoon I was told he had died. He stopped breathing, he turned black, he was dead for half of the afternoon. Then he began breathing again." Describing that afternoon, the author seems lost for words. "You can't really give words, except that it was heart-wrenching, I was in a black tunnel."
During this period, Mrs Chin stayed in the nurses' home at National Women's Hospital, awaiting her baby's death, and writing.
"It was not only a diary for myself but I was writing letters to family in Australia and Singapore. I kept carbon copies," she says, adding her father had made his six children write daily compositions from a young age.
Twenty-one years later, after meeting other women who lost children, she decided to revisit her ordeal, in the hope of helping mothers cope and those close to them understand.
"Six hundred babies a year die. That's more than the road toll. [Compared to the funding for road safety] there's just nothing provided for us."
Mrs Chin, who teaches English as a second language, says reliving the experience was difficult but cathartic.
"I took out all my old files. I read them and I cried. I sat at the computer and I cried. But after a while, I was okay. Then I finished the first draft on his anniversary."
She says the feedback so far has been positive, especially from those who have had similar experiences.
"One of the mothers [from a Stillborn and Newborn Death support group], she just cried. She said to have someone writing about it was really helpful. I've spoken to grandparents as well. People tell me, 'Now I understand'."
Her story also tells of her disappointment with some of the staff at the antenatal unit and the importance of cultural sensitivity. "We had two doctors who kept saying, 'This is his problem'," she says, of medical staff shifting the blame.
The book has been requested by one of Mrs Chin's doctors, who is now based at the University of Toronto, Canada, to assist with training and hospital management procedures.
Dr Simon Rowley is a consultant at Starship Children's Hospital who's been given a copy of the book.
"It is a good reminder to all health professionals that when our patients leave us, the story does not end for the parents. The detail is amazing, and every little thought and action seems to have been recorded as it happened, and then has been reflected upon.
"For parents undergoing similar experiences this book could be a great comfort. For health professionals, I would see it as essential reading."
Further reading
Diary of a Bereaved Mother is available at The Women's Bookstore, 105 Ponsonby Rd, or  email Ann Chin: annkschin@yahoo.com


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/aucklander/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503372&objectid=11030495