Monday, May 13, 2013

International Bereaved Mothers Day

While I was holidaying in Australia, I forgot my fellow bereaved mums. I came back to read many posts of bereaved mums who are hurting on Mothers' day. 

 I repeat this post I did last year on  International Bereaved Mothers Day was created by us in 2010 and it now falls on the first Sunday of every May.

To many of you, this is news. To many of you, I hope you never have to celebrate this. To a small unfortunate group, this is reality.

A swan plant provides nourishment to caterpillars of Monarch butterflies.  Not all caterpillars grow like Eric Carle's Hungry caterpillar and grow up to become butterflies. Some of them die, and they drop to the ground. This is a sad fact of life. At Pt Chevalier School, we have big bushes of swan plants. My students learn about life and death. I told my students about my baby who died. They often ask if I am sad. Today, I read someone saying, our deceased babies will never leave our hearts. Our hearts need to grow bigger and bigger so we can be like the swan plant, and provide more nourishment for more  caterpillars.

It was only after 17 years after I was bereaved that in 2007, at Mt Albert Baptist Church on Mothers' Day that a prayer was said for those who have lost their mums and also for those mums who have lost their children. 
On the second Sunday in May, when everyone is celebrating Mother's day, they forget there is a group of women who couldn't. Because for many of them, they should have been Mothers, but they couldn't. Even I have other surviving children, My heart remembers Andrew. 

It is good that some bereaved mothers themselves have chosen the first Sunday of May to celebrate this day. I dedicate this day to all my blogger friends who are bereaved mothers, and facebooks friends, and friends where ever you are. To the Sands mums. Others might not remember but, we stand in sisterhood, because we belong to this special club. To the newest member, C who is not even one week old as a member.  In Chinese, a child's birthday is called SHOU NAN RE, a day of great suffering. This is a super duper SHOU NAN RE.

This May 13 will be hard for you. I pray for you.

International Bereaved Mothers Day was created by us in 2010 and it now falls on the first Sunday of every May. This year’s day is on Sunday May 6th 2012.
This special day was created to honour and celebrate mothers who carry some if not all of their children in their hearts rather than their arms.  In our modern day society, mothers who are grieving the death of their babies and children are usually forgotten. The traditional Mothers Day has proven to be an emotionally difficult day for so many mothers around the world.
On this day each year we come together to celebrate our connection, our babies and children and our hope for the future. We look at their ultrasound photos, polish their urns, lay flowers at their graves, visit special places and light candles in their memory.
Sunday May 6th 2012, get together with your closest friends and family who understand and celebrate you. Celebrate your children.

Documentary: It's OK to cry which featured a group of bereaved mums and an interview of me.

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