Friday, October 17, 2014

Coping after a loss of your child.

Miscarriage is a pregnancy that ends spontaneously before 20 weeks or when the baby's weight is under 400gms and the baby dies. About one pregnancy in four miscarries and 99% of miscarriages occur in the first 13 weeks of pregnancy. Sometimes a doctor or nurse may refer to your miscarriage as a spontaneous abortion. Abortion is the common medical name for all pregnancies that end before 20 weeks. 82% of conceptions do not result in the birth of a live baby.

A bereaved mum whose child dies is acknowledged, her child has a funeral and he has a grave where the loved ones can go to visit indefinitely. Yes, that basically sums up my lot with my late Andrew.

But a "miscarried" mum, her child is not considered a child. Often, he is not mentioned. She mourns in private. Last night, I was having dinner with two mums. Out of the blue, (I didn't even initiate it) they shared the sad news about their miscarriages.

This photo is a hibiscus in winter. When I think of all the babies that had been miscarried, they are similar to this flower. Something harsh has caused them not to develop to be the flower we expect them to be.

I made this cross stitch tapestry about twenty years ago. It says," God is love." Despite our sorrows and tribulation, God is there. I was still hurting from losing Andrew. I sat up every night to the wee hours of the morning, and made this one meter by half meter tapestry. People take months, and they could not believe I made it in a month. Today, it is my heir loom. It is unlikely I will make something like this.

This post is for all mums who are bereaved and "miscarried."

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