I agree with you Elizabeth, I am that some one who have walked that path.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Monday, July 28, 2014
NZ Loss and Grief Awareness Week Monday July 28th - Sunday August 3rd
www.grief.org.nz
I just finished listening, and I agree with you about writing, the next day, when I was told my baby was dying, I got my friend to get me some writing paper, and I sat in that hospital room, and later in NICU, unable to do anything for my baby. I sat by his cot and wrote and wrote. That was the best advice my friend told me.
I had to repeat playing the introduction. This year, a pastor I know took his life, and I was shocked. When I listened to this, I asked , am I hearing right?
I was upset, and I empathise with you. Writing down indeed worked for me, and I encourage people to write.
From candle lighting to rememberance walls, to concerts, bubble blowing and art!
I just finished listening, and I agree with you about writing, the next day, when I was told my baby was dying, I got my friend to get me some writing paper, and I sat in that hospital room, and later in NICU, unable to do anything for my baby. I sat by his cot and wrote and wrote. That was the best advice my friend told me.
I had to repeat playing the introduction. This year, a pastor I know took his life, and I was shocked. When I listened to this, I asked , am I hearing right?
I was upset, and I empathise with you. Writing down indeed worked for me, and I encourage people to write.
How to talk to a parent who has lost a child. From someone who’s been there.
This couldn't have been written by me, the Chinese says, GOU LAI REN, some one who had done that and been there.
Bereavement tears in the heart, especially when yours is a small child.
http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#1qb71up7ZRT0ugyl.01
By SAMANTHA HAYWARD
The soul destroying agony of your child dying is only truly known and understood by those who have endured it. Four years on, I still glance down at my daughters grave in disbelief. Visiting my child’s grave is surreal. It’s almost like I’ve vacated my body and I’m watching someone I don’t know standing there putting flowers down.
Is this really my life ?
Only a parent understands the powerful bond you have with your child; that absolute undying love you have and that monumental desire that roars like an open fire inside you to protect that child at all costs. It is openly said that a parent will lay down their life for their child, but it is not until you have your own that you truly understand these fierce emotions. Parenting is wearing your heart on the outside of your body. Whatever you imagine it might be like to have your child die, multiply that by about a trillion and you’re probably not even close.
On the surface it appears society is accepting of this unbearable sadness and people are supportive and open to talking about it. However, in my situation I’ve been surprised by people’s genuine kindness and empathy as much as I’ve been repeatedly shocked & disappointed by their lack of it. It’s necessary for bereaved parents to be able to talk and, most of all, be able to talk openly. I’ve found it’s the only thing which dispels the trauma.
Sure, friends and family have been supportive, but it’s proven to be the case with me that there is a mandate as for how long their unwavering support, patience, understanding, concern and empathy lasts. The truth is, the situation is so unbearably sad that it becomes incredibly emotionally draining on the other person.
The realisation that they can’t fix your sadness sets in, the frustration builds because not even they can see an end in sight, then gradually it starts to impede on the happiness in their life. They haven’t lost their child so why should they spend all their time sad about yours?
I will, for the sake of all the other parents out there with empty arms, write ten things I wish people knew about the loss of a child. Maybe one of my ten points might make a difference to a bereaved parent’s life.
1. Four years on I get up every day with the exact same sadness I had the day Ella died. The only difference is I’m more skilled at hiding it and I’m much more used to the agony of my broken heart. The shock has somewhat lessened, but I do still find myself thinking I can’t believe this happened. I thought that only happened to other people. You asked how I was in the beginning yet you stopped, why? Where did you get the information on what week or month was good to stop asking?
2. Please don’t tell me that all you want is for me to be happy again. Nobody wants that more than I do, but it’s something that can only be achieved with time. On top of that, I have to find a new happiness. The happiness I once felt, that carefree feeling, will never return in its entirety. It also helps to have the patience and understanding from loved ones.
3. Please don’t say ‘I want the old Sam back!’ Or, I can see the old Sam coming back! Sam’s not coming back. This is who I am now. If you only knew the horror I witnessed and endured you would know it’s not humanly possible for me to ever be the same person again. Losing a child changes who you are. I’ve been told my eyes look haunted.
It’s a strange thing for someone to tell a grieving mother, but it’s true – I am haunted. My views on the world have changed, things that were once important are not now and vice versa. I feel as though you’re telling me two things here. Firstly you don’t like the person I am and, secondly if the old Sam’s not coming back I’m out of here. By the way there is nobody that misses the “old Sam” more than me!!! I’m mourning two deaths here; my daughter’s and my former self.
4. If you chose to acknowledge my daughter’s birthday or the anniversary of her death on the first year, it’s terribly gut wrenching when you didn’t bother to acknowledge the second or third or fourth. Do you think any subsequent birthday or anniversary is not as sad for me? It also says to me in very big neon lights that you’ve moved on and forgotten about my daughter.
5. Please stop with the continual comments about how lucky I am to have my other children particularly my daughter. Do I say this to you? Then why say it to me? I’ve buried my daughter do you seriously think I feel lucky?
6. It’s not healthy to cry in front of the kids? You’re wrong. It is perfectly healthy that they see I’m sad their sister has died. When someone dies it’s normal to cry. What would not be normal would be for my children to grow up and think “I never even saw my Mum sad over Ella’s death.” That would paint me in a light that would tell them it’s healthy to hide your emotions when obviously it’s not.
8. There are still some days, yes four years on, that I still want to hide away from the world and take a break from pretending everything is oh so wonderful and I’m all better.
Please don’t just assume I’ve thrown in the towel, or worse, actually be so thoughtless as to wonder what’s wrong with me. I still know I’ve married the catch of the century and my children are gorgeously divine and I have a beautiful house, but I’m grieving.
It’s mentally exhausting, especially raising three young children and on top of that maintaining a strong and loving marriage. Unbeknownst to you, I’m dealing with not just my own grief, but my beautiful husbands and my two boys.
It would be nice if you congratulated me on the state of my family because keeping it together, stable and happy, has been hard work.
9. I did notice. To the friends and family that found the entire death and dealing with my sadness all too hard and held secret events behind our backs that were lied about, stopped inviting us to things we had always been included in and slowly ended our relationship thinking I didn’t notice.
I did notice. The only reason why I never said anything is because I’m not wasting my words on your shameful behaviour. I am thankful for something though – I didn’t waste any more time on people that were capable of such shallowness and cruelty. Please don’t fear. I would be the first one by your side if the same thing happened to you. That should give you some indication of how horrible it is.
10. Grieving for a child lasts until you see them again. It’s a lifetime. If you’re wondering how long your friend or family member might be grieving for, the answer is forever. Don’t rush them, don’t trivialise their sadness, don’t make them feel guilty for being sad and when they talk to you, open your ears and listen, really listen to what they’re telling you. It’s possible you’ll learn something. Don’t be so cruel as to give up on them remember it’s not about you it’s about them.
I’ve been left repeatedly heart broken as friends that I truly loved and never thought would walk away from me tossed me into the too hard basket or – more hurtfully – the crazy basket. Phone calls stopped, text messages stopped, comments on Facebook stopped and I get the same thing every time. “Sorry darling I’m just flat out”, “Let’s catch up soon” and “I miss you.” The list could keep going but I get it. I’m not the type of person either that is going to pursue a friendship I know the other person doesn’t want. Everyone has a conscience and thankfully I don’t have to live with theirs.
You would think there are a lot of articles that raise awareness of the awful process associated with grieving for a child, but even stories from other parents are a rarity. The sad reality is there just isn’t enough said or printed. You seldom hear through the media about grieving for a child and the impact their death has on all the various people involved.
It can destroy a marriage instantly, it can leave siblings hurt, confused and angry. Often siblings are too young to understand, they’re angry that their family is not the same and even angrier that they don’t recognise their parents. Losing their sibling is bad enough but so much more is lost for these siblings that is never recognised. I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been asked how my boys were.
You might hear about the gory details surrounding a child’s death in the media but that’s about all. There should be so much more written about this topic, and additionally it should be talked about more openly than it is. I’m disappointed not just for me but for all the other grieving parents in society that this topic is met with so much fear and silence.
The bottom line is people are uncomfortable with the situation and I really don’t know why. My feelings tell me it is such an horrific thing that most people don’t want to know about it. Maybe they fear through knowing so much they might become obsessed with their own children dying. Parents worry enough about their children already. Do they really need the added worry about knowing how your child died?
Without question, my daughter Ella dying suddenly has been the worst thing that has happened in my 37 years here on Earth. I doubt that anything in my future is going to top it. Actually, just between us, I beg and plead with God on a daily basis that nothing ever does top that experience, but the truth is I just don’t know.
I’m not a mind reader nor do I have a magic pair of glasses where I can see how the rest of my life will unfold. I just have to hope that nothing ever does, but I have a very real fear it will because it has actually already happened to me. I know without having to hold a psychology degree that having those fears is normal.
What I’ve endured, losing my little princess, has been so
unimaginably horrific that I don’t think I would survive something like
it again.
What I have had to give emotionally to get through it has dwindled away all my mental strength – just like twenty cents pieces in a kid’s piggy bank.
I’m broke – not broken – I’m broke emotionally. I know all the energy I’ve needed over the last four years has not just been spent on my grief for Ella.
It’s been on trying to get my friends and family to understand what it’s like to walk in my shoes. I’m angry about that. When I should have been grieving, I was defending myself.
I’m probably very close to being as angry about that as I am about her death. I wish I wasn’t angry. Lord knows I don’t need another emotion but I don’t know how to not be angry, especially with some of the things that people have said and done to me. I talk and talk yet I’m often never actually heard.
I’m not sure if it’s a lack of literature around or perhaps that people simply don’t want to read it because it’s so awful and they don’t want to know someone they love and care about it experiencing so much agony. I personally know though, if I found out a family member or friend had been diagnosed with an illness or disease, or worse, their child, I would be on Google immediately finding out more about it and how I could help them the best. So why is it that this doesn’t seem to apply with the death of a child?
Ella is my third child and she deserves to be acknowledged just as much as my other children. I’ve lied before saying I have only three children, but the guilt that follows me around for days on end is just simply not worth it. I can actually hear Ella saying to me “don’t I matter anymore Mummy?” “Why were you too ashamed to talk about me?”
So personally for me, as much as I don’t want to tell someone I don’t personally know very well that my daughter is dead, the guilt of not acknowledging her is worse. I don’t have three children, I have four and my daughter is not my only daughter – I have another as well. It’s pot luck what their reaction is going to be. There’s no telling what they’re going to say. You just have to close your eyes, cover your broken heart and hope they don’t plunge that knife further in.
If I could have my questions answered on why people give so much advice on a topic that they know so little about, it would really help me. What has surprised me so much since Ella’s death is how little empathy there is in the world. Empathy to me is a no brainier. You just imagine you’re in the other persons shoes, simple yes? Apparently no. Just think how you would like to be treated and if you wouldn’t like it don’t do it. You never know what your life holds – one day it could be you wearing my shoes!
I hope this article about my personal thoughts and opinions helps at least one person understand to some degree what life is like for the bereaved parent ❤
I dedicate this article to my soul mate, Darren. I’m the luckiest girl in the world having you, my darling. I love you more and more everyday you’re simply perfect and after fifteen years my heart still skips a beat with I see you. My friend Natalie Donnelly & her daughter Eryn. To put it simply: she is an angel and if the world was full of Natalies, it would be a better place. Also my bestie Liv thank you for letting me be and never smothering me with pointless words. Love you both
Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#ErA2Ye6WFxRTPSiY.99
Bereavement tears in the heart, especially when yours is a small child.
http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#1qb71up7ZRT0ugyl.01
By SAMANTHA HAYWARD
The soul destroying agony of your child dying is only truly known and understood by those who have endured it. Four years on, I still glance down at my daughters grave in disbelief. Visiting my child’s grave is surreal. It’s almost like I’ve vacated my body and I’m watching someone I don’t know standing there putting flowers down.
Is this really my life ?
Only a parent understands the powerful bond you have with your child; that absolute undying love you have and that monumental desire that roars like an open fire inside you to protect that child at all costs. It is openly said that a parent will lay down their life for their child, but it is not until you have your own that you truly understand these fierce emotions. Parenting is wearing your heart on the outside of your body. Whatever you imagine it might be like to have your child die, multiply that by about a trillion and you’re probably not even close.
On the surface it appears society is accepting of this unbearable sadness and people are supportive and open to talking about it. However, in my situation I’ve been surprised by people’s genuine kindness and empathy as much as I’ve been repeatedly shocked & disappointed by their lack of it. It’s necessary for bereaved parents to be able to talk and, most of all, be able to talk openly. I’ve found it’s the only thing which dispels the trauma.
Sure, friends and family have been supportive, but it’s proven to be the case with me that there is a mandate as for how long their unwavering support, patience, understanding, concern and empathy lasts. The truth is, the situation is so unbearably sad that it becomes incredibly emotionally draining on the other person.
The realisation that they can’t fix your sadness sets in, the frustration builds because not even they can see an end in sight, then gradually it starts to impede on the happiness in their life. They haven’t lost their child so why should they spend all their time sad about yours?
I will, for the sake of all the other parents out there with empty arms, write ten things I wish people knew about the loss of a child. Maybe one of my ten points might make a difference to a bereaved parent’s life.
1. Four years on I get up every day with the exact same sadness I had the day Ella died. The only difference is I’m more skilled at hiding it and I’m much more used to the agony of my broken heart. The shock has somewhat lessened, but I do still find myself thinking I can’t believe this happened. I thought that only happened to other people. You asked how I was in the beginning yet you stopped, why? Where did you get the information on what week or month was good to stop asking?
2. Please don’t tell me that all you want is for me to be happy again. Nobody wants that more than I do, but it’s something that can only be achieved with time. On top of that, I have to find a new happiness. The happiness I once felt, that carefree feeling, will never return in its entirety. It also helps to have the patience and understanding from loved ones.
3. Please don’t say ‘I want the old Sam back!’ Or, I can see the old Sam coming back! Sam’s not coming back. This is who I am now. If you only knew the horror I witnessed and endured you would know it’s not humanly possible for me to ever be the same person again. Losing a child changes who you are. I’ve been told my eyes look haunted.
It’s a strange thing for someone to tell a grieving mother, but it’s true – I am haunted. My views on the world have changed, things that were once important are not now and vice versa. I feel as though you’re telling me two things here. Firstly you don’t like the person I am and, secondly if the old Sam’s not coming back I’m out of here. By the way there is nobody that misses the “old Sam” more than me!!! I’m mourning two deaths here; my daughter’s and my former self.
4. If you chose to acknowledge my daughter’s birthday or the anniversary of her death on the first year, it’s terribly gut wrenching when you didn’t bother to acknowledge the second or third or fourth. Do you think any subsequent birthday or anniversary is not as sad for me? It also says to me in very big neon lights that you’ve moved on and forgotten about my daughter.
5. Please stop with the continual comments about how lucky I am to have my other children particularly my daughter. Do I say this to you? Then why say it to me? I’ve buried my daughter do you seriously think I feel lucky?
6. It’s not healthy to cry in front of the kids? You’re wrong. It is perfectly healthy that they see I’m sad their sister has died. When someone dies it’s normal to cry. What would not be normal would be for my children to grow up and think “I never even saw my Mum sad over Ella’s death.” That would paint me in a light that would tell them it’s healthy to hide your emotions when obviously it’s not.
8. There are still some days, yes four years on, that I still want to hide away from the world and take a break from pretending everything is oh so wonderful and I’m all better.
Please don’t just assume I’ve thrown in the towel, or worse, actually be so thoughtless as to wonder what’s wrong with me. I still know I’ve married the catch of the century and my children are gorgeously divine and I have a beautiful house, but I’m grieving.
It’s mentally exhausting, especially raising three young children and on top of that maintaining a strong and loving marriage. Unbeknownst to you, I’m dealing with not just my own grief, but my beautiful husbands and my two boys.
It would be nice if you congratulated me on the state of my family because keeping it together, stable and happy, has been hard work.
9. I did notice. To the friends and family that found the entire death and dealing with my sadness all too hard and held secret events behind our backs that were lied about, stopped inviting us to things we had always been included in and slowly ended our relationship thinking I didn’t notice.
I did notice. The only reason why I never said anything is because I’m not wasting my words on your shameful behaviour. I am thankful for something though – I didn’t waste any more time on people that were capable of such shallowness and cruelty. Please don’t fear. I would be the first one by your side if the same thing happened to you. That should give you some indication of how horrible it is.
10. Grieving for a child lasts until you see them again. It’s a lifetime. If you’re wondering how long your friend or family member might be grieving for, the answer is forever. Don’t rush them, don’t trivialise their sadness, don’t make them feel guilty for being sad and when they talk to you, open your ears and listen, really listen to what they’re telling you. It’s possible you’ll learn something. Don’t be so cruel as to give up on them remember it’s not about you it’s about them.
I’ve been left repeatedly heart broken as friends that I truly loved and never thought would walk away from me tossed me into the too hard basket or – more hurtfully – the crazy basket. Phone calls stopped, text messages stopped, comments on Facebook stopped and I get the same thing every time. “Sorry darling I’m just flat out”, “Let’s catch up soon” and “I miss you.” The list could keep going but I get it. I’m not the type of person either that is going to pursue a friendship I know the other person doesn’t want. Everyone has a conscience and thankfully I don’t have to live with theirs.
You would think there are a lot of articles that raise awareness of the awful process associated with grieving for a child, but even stories from other parents are a rarity. The sad reality is there just isn’t enough said or printed. You seldom hear through the media about grieving for a child and the impact their death has on all the various people involved.
It can destroy a marriage instantly, it can leave siblings hurt, confused and angry. Often siblings are too young to understand, they’re angry that their family is not the same and even angrier that they don’t recognise their parents. Losing their sibling is bad enough but so much more is lost for these siblings that is never recognised. I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been asked how my boys were.
You might hear about the gory details surrounding a child’s death in the media but that’s about all. There should be so much more written about this topic, and additionally it should be talked about more openly than it is. I’m disappointed not just for me but for all the other grieving parents in society that this topic is met with so much fear and silence.
The bottom line is people are uncomfortable with the situation and I really don’t know why. My feelings tell me it is such an horrific thing that most people don’t want to know about it. Maybe they fear through knowing so much they might become obsessed with their own children dying. Parents worry enough about their children already. Do they really need the added worry about knowing how your child died?
Without question, my daughter Ella dying suddenly has been the worst thing that has happened in my 37 years here on Earth. I doubt that anything in my future is going to top it. Actually, just between us, I beg and plead with God on a daily basis that nothing ever does top that experience, but the truth is I just don’t know.
I’m not a mind reader nor do I have a magic pair of glasses where I can see how the rest of my life will unfold. I just have to hope that nothing ever does, but I have a very real fear it will because it has actually already happened to me. I know without having to hold a psychology degree that having those fears is normal.
“I don’t think I would be able to survive something like it again.”
What I have had to give emotionally to get through it has dwindled away all my mental strength – just like twenty cents pieces in a kid’s piggy bank.
I’m broke – not broken – I’m broke emotionally. I know all the energy I’ve needed over the last four years has not just been spent on my grief for Ella.
It’s been on trying to get my friends and family to understand what it’s like to walk in my shoes. I’m angry about that. When I should have been grieving, I was defending myself.
I’m probably very close to being as angry about that as I am about her death. I wish I wasn’t angry. Lord knows I don’t need another emotion but I don’t know how to not be angry, especially with some of the things that people have said and done to me. I talk and talk yet I’m often never actually heard.
I’m not sure if it’s a lack of literature around or perhaps that people simply don’t want to read it because it’s so awful and they don’t want to know someone they love and care about it experiencing so much agony. I personally know though, if I found out a family member or friend had been diagnosed with an illness or disease, or worse, their child, I would be on Google immediately finding out more about it and how I could help them the best. So why is it that this doesn’t seem to apply with the death of a child?
- Most people just think they know. I find this extremely frustrating. The death of your child is the worst thing that can happen to a person, yet most feel educated enough to advise, to criticise, to lend their words of wisdom when they don’t know the first thing about it. Get over it? Why don’t we see if you could get over it first!
Ella is my third child and she deserves to be acknowledged just as much as my other children. I’ve lied before saying I have only three children, but the guilt that follows me around for days on end is just simply not worth it. I can actually hear Ella saying to me “don’t I matter anymore Mummy?” “Why were you too ashamed to talk about me?”
So personally for me, as much as I don’t want to tell someone I don’t personally know very well that my daughter is dead, the guilt of not acknowledging her is worse. I don’t have three children, I have four and my daughter is not my only daughter – I have another as well. It’s pot luck what their reaction is going to be. There’s no telling what they’re going to say. You just have to close your eyes, cover your broken heart and hope they don’t plunge that knife further in.
If I could have my questions answered on why people give so much advice on a topic that they know so little about, it would really help me. What has surprised me so much since Ella’s death is how little empathy there is in the world. Empathy to me is a no brainier. You just imagine you’re in the other persons shoes, simple yes? Apparently no. Just think how you would like to be treated and if you wouldn’t like it don’t do it. You never know what your life holds – one day it could be you wearing my shoes!
I hope this article about my personal thoughts and opinions helps at least one person understand to some degree what life is like for the bereaved parent ❤
I dedicate this article to my soul mate, Darren. I’m the luckiest girl in the world having you, my darling. I love you more and more everyday you’re simply perfect and after fifteen years my heart still skips a beat with I see you. My friend Natalie Donnelly & her daughter Eryn. To put it simply: she is an angel and if the world was full of Natalies, it would be a better place. Also my bestie Liv thank you for letting me be and never smothering me with pointless words. Love you both
Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#ErA2Ye6WFxRTPSiY.99
Samantha Hayward
Samantha Hayward is at stay at home married with four children.
Tragically, 4 years ago her eldest daughter Ella died suddenly at 19 days to undiagnosed Viral Myocarditis.
Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#ErA2Ye6WFxRTPSiY.99
Read more at
http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#ErA2Ye6WFxRTPSiY.99Tragically, 4 years ago her eldest daughter Ella died suddenly at 19 days to undiagnosed Viral Myocarditis.
Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/ten-points-i-wish-every-person-knew-about-the-death-of-a-child/#ErA2Ye6WFxRTPSiY.99
Sunday, July 27, 2014
A field of sunflowers
A field of sunflowers,
The news commentator repeats.
Lies the horrors of MH17,
Grandpa used to joke,
If you lie on a field of beautiful flowers,
You will die in peace.
The victims of MH17,
died I hope on impact,
They didn't suffer pain.
But it is the people they left behind,
The mums and the dads, the children,
The husbands and the wives.
Their bereavement, their pain,
Who will wipe their tears away?
Who will comfort the hole in their heart.
Will the leaders be swayed?
To lay down their weapons.
And understand war is morally wrong.
http://floralfridayfoto.blogspot.co.nz/
Thursday, July 24, 2014
ABC Wednesday for letter B
http://abcwednesday-mrsnesbitt.blogspot.co.nz/
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Probiotics and pregnancy.
http://www.otago.ac.nz/wellington/departments/medicine/research/otago031744.html
Improving health during pregnancy & preventing infant eczema and allergy
We want to find out if by giving pregnant women a specific probiotic we can:
Women taking part in the study need to:
1. Be less than 16 weeks pregnant
2. Either they (the pregnant woman) or the biological father of the unborn child must have had eczema, asthma or hay fever that was treated by a doctor at some time in the past
I wish this study was conducted when I had my babies.
Improving health during pregnancy & preventing infant eczema and allergy
What is the study about?
We want to find out if by giving pregnant women a specific probiotic we can:
- Stop infants developing eczema and allergy
- Help pregnant women’s health by preventing:
- Some vaginal infections
- A type of diabetes that occurs only in pregnancy (gestational diabetes)
What are probiotics?
Probiotics are helpful microbes that occur naturally in many foods such as yoghurt. They provide health benefits.Who can take part in this study?
Women taking part in the study need to:
1. Be less than 16 weeks pregnant
2. Either they (the pregnant woman) or the biological father of the unborn child must have had eczema, asthma or hay fever that was treated by a doctor at some time in the past
I wish this study was conducted when I had my babies.
Monday, July 21, 2014
The golden wattle, Acacia pycnantha,
This was "Our Christmas Tree" when we were living in Borneo. Dad was given saplings, He grew and it didn't look like a fir tree. He grew about 6 trees and we asked , why doesn't the leaves look needle like like pine trees?
The saplings grew to big trees, we never got our "Christmas tree". Dad didn't have the heart to chop them down. In Borneo, they never bloomed.
Many years later, I visited Australia and found it in full bloom. No wonder the man told Dad it was Christmas tree.
I saw the wattle in South Port. It is so beautiful, and I told my sister now I understood when my dad in Borneo was given this saplings to grow, seeing the flower reminds me of mum and dad.
The flowering wattle makes it a beautiful Christmas tree.
Wayne Parr's photo.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Crash airline MH 117
My friend Anna Sue said my sister Margaret and her Husband and herself was on board this flight lat month. I feel a chill in my spine.
This is what my Quang Ning Grand father used to teach us. Our Ah Kung and Ah Tai (ancestors) sat high and see far away, and protected Margaret.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/101838653#.
A Malaysia Airlines passenger plane carrying 295 people was hit by a surface-to-air missile on Thursday, said U.S. intelligence officials. Officials were divided over the origin of the missile that hit the plane, which crashed over eastern Ukraine.
This is what my Quang Ning Grand father used to teach us. Our Ah Kung and Ah Tai (ancestors) sat high and see far away, and protected Margaret.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/101838653#.
A Malaysia Airlines passenger plane carrying 295 people was hit by a surface-to-air missile on Thursday, said U.S. intelligence officials. Officials were divided over the origin of the missile that hit the plane, which crashed over eastern Ukraine.
2 hours ago via Instagram
Exactly
a month ago...i was on this ill fated flight..flew exactly at the same
time, the same route..(honestly, i was very scared at that time)...since
i was in the business class cabin & i cant sleep, there were ample
room for me to walk around and chit chatting with the cabin
crews..sempat lagi gelak2 pasal the captain's announcement..the only
announcement where the captain is actually talking mcm kita bercakap
dikampung..he was so jovial and i enjoyed the jokes he
made...hmmm...ajal maut ditangan Allah s.w.t...feeling so sad
I replied love you.
Erebus: Operation Overdue
This week I watched this movie. I sat alone in the lounge, my eyes riveted to the screen. There were a lot of bereaved mums. I cried. I was in New Zealand when this crash happened in 1979.
I told myself, I will never go to the snow again. With a few days, I hear about the crash of Malaysian Airlines.
Erebus: Operation Overdue
World Premiere
New Zealand 2014 / 72min. (With the kind support of TVNZ)
Directors Peter Burger, Charlotte Purdy. Producer Carmen J Leonard.
On 28 November 1979, an Air New Zealand jet with 257 passengers went
missing during a sightseeing tour over Antarctica. Within hours, 11
ordinary police officers were called to duty to face the formidable
Mount Erebus. As the police recovered the victims, an investigation team
tried to uncover the mystery of how a jet could fly into a mountain in
broad daylight. Did the airline have a secret it wanted to bury? This
film tells the story of four New Zealand police officers who went to
Antarctica as part of the police operation to recover the victims of the
crash.Directors Peter Burger, Charlotte Purdy. Producer Carmen J Leonard.
For the first time, an Air New Zealand senior staff member provides the inside story of the airline that was accused of one of the largest corporate cover-ups in New Zealand’s history. Set in the beautiful yet hostile environment of Antarctica, this is the emotional and compelling true story of an extraordinary police operation.
http://www.documentaryedge.org.nz/2014/ak/film/erebus-operation-overdue
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Jasmine buds.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154405429325541&set=a.10150550979000541.652232.744380540&type=1&theater
Does nature and events remind you of your Angel? Last night I watched Resurrection on TV, and thought, I wonder what it would be like if my angel was like in the TV show and came back. Then this morning, I saw these Jasmine buds, I photographed the same in Australia when my Sis In Law died at this time last year.. I normally do not look at buds.
Does nature and events remind you of your Angel? Last night I watched Resurrection on TV, and thought, I wonder what it would be like if my angel was like in the TV show and came back. Then this morning, I saw these Jasmine buds, I photographed the same in Australia when my Sis In Law died at this time last year.. I normally do not look at buds.
Last year at this time, I was on the Gold Coast looking at the buds of the Jasmine. Helen and I were outside at her laundry line. I had gone over to spend time with the family.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Lost Cluckiness
Here I was playing with my rainbow son, born unplanned 7 years after my Andrew
died.
I lose my "cluckiness" with other people's babies and photos on Face Book. I didn't care for any babies except my baby and my nieces and nephews.
My therapist says it is OK, I think I am OK. Any of you have similar feelings.
Grace asked me if I was OK with Jessie, and I said Yes, she was a girl baby and also my niece. Now with Facebook photos, I quickly scroll now when I see baby photos.
I lose my "cluckiness" with other people's babies and photos on Face Book. I didn't care for any babies except my baby and my nieces and nephews.
My therapist says it is OK, I think I am OK. Any of you have similar feelings.
Grace asked me if I was OK with Jessie, and I said Yes, she was a girl baby and also my niece. Now with Facebook photos, I quickly scroll now when I see baby photos.
Always
an adventurous person, I am the king of the playground. going up was
easy, I got stuck on top and couldn't come down. That was 15 years ago.
What were those purple flowers? anyone ever try climbing up this semi circular monkey bars?
What were those purple flowers? anyone ever try climbing up this semi circular monkey bars?
Monday, July 14, 2014
Help for Lisa
we investigate the theft of hundreds of dollars of donations intended for sick children."
we investigate the theft of hundreds of dollars of donations intended for sick children."
On July 15th, our TV 3 , Campbell live show reported Lisa's news and interviewed her and her Dad.
Her Dad said support has been coming in, giving her money and pledges.
On July 15th, our TV 3 , Campbell live show reported Lisa's news and interviewed her and her Dad.
Her Dad said support has been coming in, giving her money and pledges.
heartless low people
This is what the heartless low people did to poor Lisa's fund raiser.
This is Lisa and her mum Louise. Lisa's fundraiser box was stolen at St Lukes today.
Croissants
My last post on the French theme on the Francis Bastille Day. The story
however is not French but American. 20 years ago, the husband had a
conference in Washington DC. He took us on a wonderful holiday. We were
staying in NY and the breakfast was Croissants and muffins.
Both of them were super size, but greedy me went and asked if we could
have a refill of 4 Croissants. The woman said sorry, I will give you 2
Croissants and 2 muffins. I felt sheepish. The younger daughter was only
5. That remained one of our most heart warming stories of our trip to
USA.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Chinese Glory BowerClerodendrum chinense.
In NTU, Singapore, my friend J gave me the original plant. Her friends brought them specially from India. I dub it as Indian Jasmine. It's common name is Chinese Glory Bower. Scientific Name: Clerodendrum chinense.
Origin: China, Japan; naturalized in southern United States and throughout tropics.
Growth Habits: Shrub, up to 8 feet tall (2.4 m); heart shaped leaves, up to 10 inches long (25 cm)
These plants have very fragrant flowers, cluster of flowers forming a ball. The flowers are pinkish purple and are more beautiful than the ordinary jasmine. They are bigger and have multiple layers of petals.
It is ironic as some one who grows plants and love flowers, I can't have flowers. Actually I would love receiving flowers, but I can't keep them at home. We has a terrible allergy reaction from pollen grains. If I bring flowers home, the moment he comes home, he will ask,"What's the stinky smell?" and I would have to throw out my flowers.
This has been a blessing in disguise. I made many friends through my flowers. My bushes of Chinese Glory Bower had bloomed lots of flowers. My friend A.'s husband had been very sick for a long time. Every morning, I leave this Chinese Glory Bower at her door. She knows it is from me and I don't want to disturb her. "It cheered him a lot to see you stalk of Chinese Glory Bower."
***Sadly to say, he died after a few surgeries.***
http://floralfridayfoto.blogspot.co.nz/
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Conjoined Twins
I have always been interested with Conjointed or siamese twins, when I read about Chang and Eng.
In 2000, I had the rare opportunity to see a pair and help them in the operation to separate them.
They are Ganga and Gemuna from Nepal.
Conjoined Twins Plan Party After Reaching Landmark Age
Conjoined Twins Plan Party After Reaching Landmark Age (ABC News)
Ronnie and Donnie Galyon are eagerly awaiting a major milestone this
Saturday. Even though it’s not the conjoined twins’ birthday, the duo
plans to celebrate turning 62 years, 8 months and 7 days old with a big
block party.
The reason for the celebration? The date means they will have lived
longer than the original “Siamese Twins,” Chang and Eng Bunker, who
became famous as a sideshow act in the 1800's.
“Put it this way -- I’m stoked,” Ronnie Galyon, 62, told the Denton Daily News.
Ronnie and Donnie Gaylon were born in 1951 and live with their younger
brother, Jim Galyon, and his wife in Beavercreek, Ohio. The Galyon twins
are joined from the breastbone area to the pelvis and spent their first
months on Earth in the intensive care unit.
“They weren’t even expected to live the first day, let alone get out of
the hospital, let alone live 62 years,” said Jim Galyon. “This has been a
life-long goal to meet and beat the Bunker twins. It means the world to
them.”
After growing up, the pair performed in carnival sideshows and circuses
until they retired in 1991, according to the Associated Press. The
Galyon twins lived on their own after retirement, although they moved
just a few houses down from their brother so that he could help them.
The twins moved in with their younger brother after they became deathly
ill following a viral infection and were in the intensive care unit with
various health problems, including blood clots in Ronnie’s lungs.
Friday, July 4, 2014
getting to know you session with Greg Liston
Today, we met with Greg Liston, in the pastor's office. I have been in the pastor's office only 3 times. The first was with Roland Hart when we prepared for our wedding. The second with Don Dickson when we prepared for Andrew's funeral. Today, was more casual, it was a getting to know you session.
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